Ok, I've been dealing with my 7 year old's issues for quite some time, he's been diagnosed with ADHD. He was always different, from the time he was born. I couldn't put him down without screaming (he screamed for 16-20 hours a day, no lie), when he started getting mobile, he calmed down on the screaming, but then developed Pica (which was a 24-7 job watching out for him alone, making sure he didn't eat anything that would kill him), and I'm a single mother, have been for years. When he was 3, they did put him on Adderall XR, which did stop the fits where he hurt himself (such as if I stood him in a corner, he would find a nail in the wall and rake his face across it, slam his head into concrete at birthday parties, etc). Oh yeah, I've dealt with some serious tantrums.
When summer hit, I took him off the pills, and he's never been back on them since. (Again, he's 7 yrs old now). I believe that he can learn just like his other two brothers, granted it's a bit more difficult, but I believe in my heart that it can be done. I know we (my sisters, brother and I) all had ADHD ourselves, lol. I seriously think it's genetic in our case, and our mother refused to put us on the drugs, and we're just fine. Yes, it calms the kids down, but since when was it ok to medicate your kids to make being a parent easier? It feels like cheating to me. I've dealt with violent fits, nonsensical behavior, and I just go the old fashioned route - I deal with it, and if he does something extremely out of line (to the point where it is just unacceptable, such as stabbing his brother in the throat with a fork, or exposing himself to the neighborhood children), then guess what? I'll whoop his little ***.
Don't sit there and tell me I abuse my child. If any parent reads this, you know there comes a time when you have to whoop a booty. I don't do it for every single time he acts up - that's abuse. It's only for serious matters.
But, I'm just curious - are there any other parents out there that have an extremely difficult child, and also refuse the meds? See, to me, I could get the same results w/giving him a shot of whiskey, and there'd be less side affects than them damn pills, lol. (Oh calm down for whoever can't take a joke - no, I don't feed him whiskey). If so, I'd like to hear how you deal with the fits, behavior, etc. Are you old fashioned also? I can honestly tell you, that through all these years of perseverance, trial and error, and never giving up, do you know this boy is starting to finally GET IT?? LOL And without the help of drugs. His manners and behavior have improved DRAMATICALLY, just by staying on top of him, never backing down, being consistent in punishments AND rewards. Parenting isn't easy, even God couldn't get Adam and Eve to listen to him, LMAO. (Don't pick the apple.....)
I just get SO sick of the schools telling me to put him on drugs, so it makes THEIR job easier. Honestly, since he's been out of school this summer, he's changed so much, I'm wondering if that'll even be an issue next year? Of course, they also wanted me to put my oldest on drugs, but they're problem was that instead of reading "See Spot Run", he tucked himself in a corner and was reading "National Geographic" and "Time" magazines, lol. (Yes, in 1st grade - the boy is gifted - he's 10 now, and can do algebra - I pulled him out of that school and home schooled him until I found a school that believed in him and his abilities).
So, let's hear it: who else gives the FDA the bird, and refuses to medicate their busy child? :) I'm not gonna knock anyone who does it, I'm just curious to know who doesn't? Sometimes I feel like the only one.|||I medicate. My oldest is on the Autism "spectrum" and my daughter has ADHD. But I'm not one of those parents who would criticize someone who didn't medicate. Because I've been there. It's only been a couple of years since I agreed to do it. My mom was the opposite of yours, when I was diagnosed Bipolar she had me over medicated, and I vowed to never "drug" my kids. But I changed my mind after a lot of consideration. It's a personal choice, like anything else parents do or don't do. If you think your son is better off without the meds, more power to you. You made your decision because you care about your kid, we may all have different opinions, but at least we all do what we do for the same reason.|||to be honest you may feel that way about not giving him drugs but he is the one that gets distressed by being adhd people have there kids on the drugs not just for them but to help the child feel more relaxed and better rather then all over the place and not knowing what to do it can't be easy when a child has adhd i would defo have my child on drugs just to make him or her feel better|||Don't let the Government or anyone else drug your kid. No one has a clue as to the long term affects of these drugs. Hell, they might all start jumping off buildings when they turn 30 or develop extremely aggressive cancers at 35.
Plus, there is this:
http://www.wcnc.com/news/local/stories/w鈥?/a>|||Your child does deserve to be treated for his condition. Although I think it's diagnosed too much, it is a true condition, WHEN the child actually has it. Your child sounds like he truly does.
If your child was diabetic, wouldnt you give him insulin? Its NOT about making your job easier. Your child deserves to learn and focus in school, and to stay safe. HE deserves to be on a productive path. Now that being said, there ARE other alternatives besides Rx drugs. Have your tried them? All natural diets? No dyes or additives? Omega 3's. Etc. There is research (alot) that backs this stuff up. Speak to a trained nutritionist of doctor in this area.|||Tell the school where they can put their drugs! Terrible....if he's gifted you might want to homeschool him later on...,,works very well for gifted kids.|||I have never been in the position as you are with a child that everyone wanted one meds. However I see the schools point. It's not that you are "making their job easier" it's that they don't have the resources to have a teacher sit with your child all day everyday and make sure he behaves. The teacher is only one person with a classroom of 15-25 children they can't possibly sit there and make sure your son is doing what he is supposed to at least not without taking attention away from the other children and that is not fair to them. How would you feel if you sent your child to school one day and he hurt another child?
At home you can correct him, at school they will kick him out and you may have a lawsuit on your hands for not medicating him when you know he has a problem. I know as a parent that if some child stabbed my child with a fork in the throat I would sue if that parent knew that child had a problem and didn't do anything about it. Also you have to think about later on. Now your son is being put up with and complained about in school. If he gets older and this continues then he may very well be put in the behavior disorder classroom. They keep the kids in there all day and the security guard stands outside (at least at my old school) is that the type of learning experience you want your child to have? Teachers talk. I can guarantee you that your child's teacher has already told his next teachers about his "issues" he will be labeled for life as the child who's out of control and the parent won't do anything. That means every time your son acts up they won't put up with him and send him to the office.
I understand your feelings but you need to think about your child's future and what would make the best learn and living environment for him and everyone around him. If you think that not giving him meds is the best that is fine and maybe you are right but whatever you choose you will have to live with the consequences good or bad.|||Quote
Yes, it calms the kids down, but since when was it ok to medicate your kids to make being a parent easier?
What you miss is that if your child REALLY has adhd, you *arent* medicating them to make being a parent easier. Rather, you are medicating them because they have a disorder. There is a HUGE difference. I know mental health is still quite a stigmatized thing, but medicine for mental health is just as importnant as medicine for physical health. Would you say the same thing about giving your child an antibiotic for an infection?
Maybe they arent telling you to put him on meds to make their job easier, maybe he actually needs meds.
That being said.... A lot of the adhd meds come with a lot of side effects. I would go more towards behavioral therapy rather than actual drugs. A can of soda or a cup of coffee can probably help too, without the narcotic side effects. Make sure he gets lots of outside play time, and work with him on meditation or relaxation exercises.|||My son is only two but I can tell you that other people are NOT going to be able to "deal" with him. He is very high energy and constantly moving. I have already decided to home school him. His father and I both had huge difficulties in school (with grades, not the actual learning......we just got bored waiting for every one else to catch up). There is a charter school that I might think about putting him in here, but regular school would just be a pointless and frustrating endeavor.
Anyway, no one is going to tell me to drug my child so they can deal with him better! My son doesn't need drugs, he needs interaction and challenges. Who better to give that to him than his father and I?
Edit--to a lot of the other parents who ask if your child had diabetes would you give them insulin or if your child needed antibiotics wouldn't you give it to them.
In my case, I research everything before I put it in my child's body. There are usually more natural and healthy alternitaves to the crap they want us to use!|||your stopping your son from taking medication
that is not good so dont try thinking your better than people who give there children what they need just because they are 'drugs'
you seem to have this attitude that drugs are the enemy and there not. they are what your son needs to better function and its him who will suffer
they dont ask you to give him his medician because itl make there jobs easyer, they do it because without them his education will suffer and he will hinder the education of others (i had an unmedicated ADHD child in one of my classes and he took the teachers attention the entire time, we never learnt anything because of it)
he wont 'grow out of it' like one answer suggested.
the person in my class who had it was 16 and still behaved terribly|||I DO medicate both my boys my oldest is ADD and my youngest Son is ADHD and giving your child meds does NOT make parenting easier it makes life easier for children in general who suffer from these problems my oldest Son now excells in school and its great to not see him struggle anymore and my youngest Son is not as hyper in school and his school work is way better. Why would take your child off of meds? why are you gonna let him suffer so you feel better about being a parent just plan dumb.|||There's a couple things I thought of when I read your note
1) Schools are NOT allowed to tell you to medicate your child as they are not health professionals. It is technically illegal for them to do that.
2) My son took meds while he was in school. In no way did it make my life easier because he didn't take them when he was at home.
3) When he started taking them and could suddenly concentrate in class and learn something he said (and I quote) "You mean I'm not stupid"??
It was the first time that he realized that he could do something other then get in trouble and never focus on his work.
4) Why would you keep your son from being able to learn? Kids with real ADHD cannot focus in school because they need to move all the time. You aren't medicating your child for the school system or for yourself, you are giving them meds FOR THEM. Why deny your child a chance to learn properly?
You don't have to use the FDA approved meds. There are natural products that work just as well not to mention dietary changes that can help. Getting a spanking doesn't help kids be able to sit in a classroom and learn.
5) Now that we homeschool we no longer need the meds. He can learn how he wants, where he wants and most of the time that's sitting on the trampoline in the backyard where he can still move and bounce but do his work at the same time. That's something you can't do in a classroom.|||You aren't alone at all, my mom refused to medicate me when I was little and even into my teenage years. She never bought into the whole ADD thing. I really do believe I am ADD and doctors have told her this quite a few times. I wish that she had medicated me. I would have been a much better student had I have been.
I am 19 now so the damage is done.
I still have a hard time functioning with somethings.
But its all up to you. If what you are doing is working then more power to you. I am glad you have found a solution that works.
And like your oldest son...I too was far ahead of the rest of the others. Reading by age 3-4, reading at college levels in 3rd grade and testing at 8th grade science levels in 3rd grade.
Good Luck.|||Good on you for not drugging your child. Like you said he will grow out of this and I think it's great that you can cope with it! Go you!|||Wow! Good for you! I don't have a over-active child (yet), but if the time ever comes, I very highly doubt my husband and I would ever turn to drugs to "fix" it. ADHD or ADD children are often very bright and/or geniuses in their fields- they just need a little more guidance and discipline than "normal" children.
Good job- I commend you for what you are doing for your children! Teaching them to deal with their "disorder" rather than just give them a bandaid (drugs) will make them so grateful to you in the long run.|||I am sorry for what you have gone through and yes I do agree with you. I have a friend who's son behaves like a normal 7 year old looking for attention. Nothing to the degree of what you are speaking. In all honesty she is a bad parent who just screams at her kids all day long. She now uses adhd to "claim" its not her fault. It really irritates me because of the people like you who choose to try to be a great parent and deal with a busy child instead of over medicating them.
My children do not have ADHD but I sure as hell wouldn't put them on drugs either.|||A lot of people are going to hate me, but I agree with you. People say that ADHD kids are "bored" and learning is "hard" for them - but honestly? Most kids are bored, and learning is hard for a lot of people. ADHD is no excuse for running around like the kid has no discipline.
I'm not really good at wording how I feel about this, so I'll just go with "I agree with you". =P
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