Please Critique! ALL feedback is welcomed!?

This is a paper i have to do for my english class. the criteria was that you had to describe a vivid memory ffrom your past. I havent gone through spell and grammar so please no comments on that, just the content and structure please.! Also i havent written the end/conclusion to it, its not that i finished it that way! Once again please all feedback would be welcomed with open arms! Thanks!!!!







I picked it up on a whim, sitting with its akward looking encyclopedia fa?ade on the bookshelf. I could only estimate its total volume as about 500 pages. Maybe I was looking for some salvation via a non-fiction called I know this much is true.” I hadnt picked up a novel from a library in nearly two years. Instead of offering its sacrificial message of marytrism through the eyes of man who’s brother was schitzophrenic, it reminded me of when I was just a small kid.

Sunny, almost blinding, I could see the swing set across the gravel set play ground. I could have only been about five years old. Swinging low, and higher and higher tempting flipping over the bar. As children, it was almost like testing satan himself. Nonetheless, the rocking still continued, up, down, then sway down again. The entrancing movement refracted and siloutted against the sun, stopping at the moment the swing and the person reached the sunlight like a perfectly formed photograph. It seemed like something I would see on an advertisement in a National Geographic magazine, next to the article on human poverty in Africa. The wind started to pick up, and snow that was still dotted precariously about the ground was jettisoned by the wind to another location amougst the dusty dirt and gravel mixture of the earth floor. The gust only seemed to intensify the swingset’s gravity pulling and pushing with some invisible speed as to give the person riding it a new thrill to be part of the free mountain breeze. The sun appeared that it was glaring now, almost to bright for a child’s eyes. Then, the great feeling suddenly abated, and the swinger’s pace slowed. A sense of urgency and a slight hand of panic ingulfed the atmosphere. You could feel yourself geering and hoping, almost praying that the swinger could rise against the elements and show temptation to reach the top bar again, to keep swinging higher and higher. Inthrawled in the struggle of good vs. nature, I inched unknowingly closer. Shoes slowly inched towrd the remote ground filled with gravel. Popping a exploding out of their safe little spots on the ground, dusty rocks and pebbles flew towards my face. My heart skipped, and I quickly shut my eyes. My mistake. I could see the intensity of the sun through my closed eyelids, as it quickly seemed to set and I felt the soft salt smelling pebbles under my head. Eyes opened up towards the sky , fixed on the most peculiar shade of blue the sky had taken form to. The dark bitter color of the pine trees put cracks in the sky above me. I heard the swing’s lonely creaking of one that had no owner. I think I realized what had happened, but the sky caught my gaze for the longest time. I laid there for God only knows how long until I heard the familiar crunching of gravel under someone’s feet. I could tell it was someone musch larger than a child’s. It was the uglist, plaid, down padded coat I had ever seen. She towered over me as a shadow, a giant against the crooked and blurred after image of the playground. She stepped closer to me, the five year old in a purple bloated fur lined coat, courtesy of my mother. At first she didn’t say anything, juts looked down at me, trying to configure whether I was concious or not. Her frizzy long hair blocked from her face by the lifted sunglasses that looked like beetle eyes. Before she could ask the usually ask the teacher’s usually battery of questions like “are you okay?” etc I sat up ignoring the of toned blue sky. The teacher murmered something and then helped me stand up and clearly irritated asked me to go to the nurse’s office. She waddled off, obviously even more agitated to resume her duties. I didn’t get up, I jus sat and watched and listened as the noise had shifted from the swings to the other side of the playground. Kids really are reckless. I still don’t understanf why I came back to that memory of my childhood. Maybe the image of the children on the cover of novel made me reflect on the childhood memories of y own, or the emotion I connect ot myself when I read books.Please Critique! ALL feedback is welcomed!?
All i can say is wow!

It must have taken you a long time to write this.

It was very good and im being completely honest.

how much thought did you put into that paper?

this may sound silly but Im writing a book and your paper inpired me so much!

you should really publish it, im not kidding!

You should write more.

do you enjoy writing because your paper was so amazing!

its been so long since i read a paper that good

excellent job!Please Critique! ALL feedback is welcomed!?
Very good. I actually read it, and I usually can't read over two sentences without looking at pictures!